There was nothing that Japan wasn’t prepared for more than being sovereign. He had trained, studied, and observed all the powers that played in the world before he’d made his own run for power. Japan, a small island nation in comparison to those like Russia and Japan had set foot on the mainland of Asia and conquered. He had not gone into it expecting his siblings to respect or even surrender to him. They would fight and in response he would as well. It did not matter where their failings lied; whatever mistakes they had made, he had taken advantage and now here they all were. He could almost smile at China as the nation attempted to lecture him.
Just like old times, wasn’t it?
“You praised me, it is true, when I was young,” Japan said, “but as I grew older pride is not what left your mouth. You spent all your time calling my loyalty into question, claiming I did not care for you.” He met his eyes and smiled sweetly. “It’s cute how you paint yourself such a victim, claim so much ignorance when it is you who raised me for the purpose I undertook. You taught me to conquer, Yao-kun. And I did.” Yao was the ridiculous one; the one who pretended to play wounded and harmed when Japan knew the cogs of the nation’s mind were turning nonstop. How could he play this conversation into his court? How could he craft a web to capture Japan in?
How could be snatch his power back without a single suspicion.
It was humorous, wasn’t it? That he didn’t think Japan could see it, or that he thought Japan too foolish. He hugged his knees again and chuckled with a sigh. “You taught me about loyalty too, but you know what else? The West taught me just how fickle it is. They make so many pretty promises, they seduce you, and before you know it, your mind is muddled with drugs or friendship and that’s when they strike. I can’t say you didn’t show me how fickle loyalty was either…the moment I was old enough to question you, as any good student should, how cold you became.” He tilted his head up to the sky and tapped his sandaled feet against the earth.
Through torrents of emotion, tears, and doubt, Japan was ever in control. Of this conversation and any that passed his ears. His siblings probably thought he was swayed by the West, believed in them, and maybe they thought he trusted them.
How narrow-minded.
He pressed his lips together and reached out a hand to China. “Yao, do you think I wanted to harm you or any of my siblings? If I thought I could have accomplished my goals without stomping on feelings or causing wounds, I would have. I would have done anything to keep the harmony.” He shook his head. “The world is harsh, however, I had to make horrible decisions. Hurting you…that was the hardest thing I ever did. If I could…I would reverse time and never have…” He stopped. He dropped his hand.
“Let me…treat your back, Yao. Give you something to dull the pain. Let me do all I can…to make up for what I can never take back. I am sorry, Yao. I will forever ask your forgiveness for the pain and sadness I caused you…I made the choice to do it, no matter the reasons, and I will carry that.”
He uncurled his legs and his eyes shined in the starlight. “I know the road to loyalty, and I know that you and my siblings do not trust me…but I will work to change that. Can we start? I would like your trust, Yao, if you ever deem me worthy of it. Your back needs to heal and I wish to help it. I would like…to mend the bridge between us. I will do what I must to convey how true my apologies are for all I have caused you.”
It was difficult, staring at Kiku in this way. Now that he wasn’t over him and trying to intimidate him China could only see the hallowed eyed little child in front of him. It was a position he’d never forget. The little ray of light that sat in the clearing, only to quickly insult him moments later. But Kiku didn’t know better, he didn’t know anything about the world. From this, only more of them came. More wide eyed children that were immediately rude to him or in Thi’s case struck him with something. He never quite understood why his children were so hostile at first.
Yao nodded quietly as he spoke about his childhood. He’d always praised him, but a frown came as he continued. He couldn’t say he agreed with him on much of the rest about his adulthood. Instead of correcting Kiku, he just sat back and listened to him. If he were to interrupt, he would tell him how scolding him as an adult wasn’t questioning his loyalty, it was showing him that he loved him. If Yao didn’t care about him, he’d have let him do whatever he wanted.
Hearing him praise the West was almost unbearable. “The West poisoned your judgement!” He snapped and then didn’t say any more on the subject. He knew how he was raised, despite how Japan saw it. He never gave him these values that he now held to such a high standard. If Japan wasn’t peace this was not the way to go about it. Charging into a war with the West and fighting their friends head on was the worst thing he could do…Even if he did end up winning. China was certain that it would come back to haunt him and that moment was rising quickly.
His hand made China shifted ever so slightly, but he took it for lack of anything else he could do. Something about his kind words made him meet his gaze for a moment. It turned politely and he tried to process what he was asking. The wounds on his back were still open and festering and his ability to forgive was mostly the same. Still, Kiku was his and his favorite. Something behind those hallow empty eyes made his heart soften. “You may do these things Kiku.” He gave him his permission for the things he asked. “I don’t know how we can fix what has been done to my back.. That is a wound I do not know how to heal… Only to hide.” He spoke softly and looked down at the ground. His digits squeezed Kiku’s lightly, trying not to show ill will by the statement.
